New (Zea)land
Mt. Cook, NZ
FINALLY. Taking those shaking, vulnerable steps into doing something new. Something I know I’ve wanted to jump into for a long time, but have let the doubt and fear of failure be on the way. GOOSHH HOW LIMITING THAT IS IN THIS LIFE. And I´ve done it so much.. BUT. Here it finally is! My blog/website I mean :)) It will be a page full of freedom. Pictures, stories, art, wonders and thoughts about life. It will share travel stories, but also hopefully be a place where people could come to when being in a need of remembering hope, love, light, compassion, magic and beauty, that the world and this precious life still carries.
Why does my first post have a name like that? Because I shall start this blog from right here where I am, with what I have. “Start with what you have, start where you are, just start..<3” So I start in New Zealand, in a far away land, 16,893 km from Finland to put it exactly. At the start of this year I had no idea my path would lead me all the way to New Zealand, that mystic dreamy land where I had always wandered to only in my dreams. Ever since I saw The Lord of the Rings for the first time..
Christchurch, NZ
Let’s go to February 28th earlier this year. I left Finland with no more than hand luggage to go travel around California for four weeks. I said quick goodbyes to my family, friends and my sweetest dog Poncho, with a thought that I’ll be seeing them in four weeks which passes quickly. I flew to San Francisco, spent there few days before catching a bus to a small town in Northern California called Redding. I went there to visit a school I wished to go study film- composing to. On the first day of the school I met a man, not just any man, but a man who was about to change my life forever.. This is a story that needs it’s very own post so I will one day share details of this crazy story that wins ALMOST every movie and book ever written.. At least for me!
Shortcut. Me and this mysterious man spent three days together until he had to fly back home (home= New Zealand). I continued my journey to Kauai island in Hawaii for one week. (I will also come up with a post about Kauai at one point<3) My plan after that was to stay in LA for the final two weeks before going back home, but after returning to LA and coming back from Kauai bubble, I woke up to the levels where Corona- virus had spread. I took a taxi to downtown of LA, spent there literally 7 minutes (like, literally), and took a new taxi back to the airport. LA was already shutdown, and I started to get emails about canceled flights to Finland. Now what for goodness sake?:D
Santa Barbara, CAL
There I was, sitting at the LAX airport, with one hand luggage. Knowing that I am not supposed to stay in LA and knowing that flights to Europe are being canceled. After the mysterious man had gone home, we stayed in contact, literally put, every day, and at one point he half joked I should go to New Zealand. Should I?.. I started to wonder this proposal at the airport while drinking my third (or fifth….) coffee. In the next second, like my soul had left my body, I saw myself from the ceiling to buy a one- way ticket to Christchurch New Zealand. DONE. There it was. A flight ticket to a country that still was letting people in and hadn’t yet closed the border for the incoming flights. I let the mysterious stranger know that I was on my way and THANK GOODNESS he was happy about that :D
The crazy thing is that New Zealand closed their border 4 hours after I had landed. So I was one of the very last people let to the country that is now shut for everybody who is not a resident, for even two years maybe.. So definitely there was bigger planning happening beyond my own understanding and knowledge..<3
Christchurch, NZ
7 months later, here I am, living in New Zealand! :D Figuring life out, adventuring, exploring, healing, allowing the new and this beautiful land to welcome me and grow me. Moving to a new country (accidentally) for the first time ever, walking those vulnerable steps of a new relationship, pandemic, all this has pushed me through some intense but so so so good processes. Processes that always take us to the next level in wisdom, humility, knowing ourselves, and are necessary in life<3
I´ve learned more compassion and grace towards myself, that it is okay to feel homesick and tender. It is okay to have days, weeks, even months, where your daily action is to walk to and sit by the ocean, stare at it for hours, let it speak to you with its soft, symbolic sound, and stay there until the golden sun says its sweet farewell, and just breath. Breath<3 It is okay to let that be enough and let go of the accusing voice in your head that always tries to accuse and push you to “do more, be more, do better, why can´t you, you´re a failure if you don´t, don´t waste your time….”. BLAA BLAA DADIDAABLAAA.
Lake Tekapo, NZ
Sometimes, specially in these times across the world, the very beautiful and important thing to do everyday, is to carry grace and love, towards others and yourself. It is okay to not feel okay, to feel tired or confused, overwhelmed or fragile and tender.
Kaikoura, NZ
But know that there is endless grace, endless love and endless hope entering that space, and it wants to hug you and tell you “it is okay, you are enough and perfectly beloved, all the time. You are doing your very best and that is enough. Don´t compare your journey, your steps and your process to your neighbours one. Everyones journey is different. Everyones battles and victories are different. If we keep on looking to the right and to the left, we miss the pearls and diamonds in the sand on the road that we are walking, the road that has been tailored for us individually. There is a great meaning and purpose in this walk of yours, and you are so very important. A true treasure, perfectly created<3 Just one breath coming out of your lungs means so much to this world and the whole universe”
Okay. I find so many topics to talk about and I am starting to get carried away, so I will wrap up this post for it to be a first hello, and continue in other posts about, well, everything and anything :))
-Anna Xx
